He said it at the exact moment I bent over to put a flower vase wrapped in newspaper in a box. He said it, and my nostrils began to burn.
I was there to help with a move, but the conversation going on around and above me was pushing every button on my nerves. Nonetheless I made a conscious choice to stay out of it, and I was determined to. Determination did not stop my nostrils from burning. I have opinions, and you cannot accuse me of not sharing, especially when it comes to the issues I am passionate about. The issues been discussed right before my nostrils began to burn weren’t necessarily ones I was passionate about. I chipped my thoughts in here and there, but I refused to work myself up in fervor. As I listened to the other people agree with one another on point after point, I was aware that I had a unique voice in the room.
Then he said it, “She needs to find a husband. She is bored and needs to get married. If she was in her husband’s house, she wouldn't have time for social media.”
It was then my nose flared up and stung. I straightened up after placing the vase in a box, and I could feel the familiar tension in my calves and the boom-boom of my heart rising and falling. I digested the implication of that statement and the rationale behind it, and forgetting my commitment to stay out, I went right in. My earlier desire to focus on anything other than the debate going on in the room was going to waste, and as my lips uttered my first words of disagreement laced with bewilderment and disgust, I knew the battle to disengage was lost. I was in. Full on!
“That is a condescending statement, and it doesn’t make sense to blame her social media activities and mishaps, based on your definition of social media mishaps, on her marital status. Your definition of over sharing is definitely subjective and sexist”
My statement didn’t come off soft; it was sharp and the expression on my face was one of disgust.
"Oops! How did I get pulled into this?"
Regardless of how, all I know is it is sexist, rude and absurd to make marriage and a husband the cure all for everything a single women goes through or the bad choices they make. Let’s not ascribe the need for a husband a cure to a woman’s social media activities.
I am for marriage.
I am for using wisdom when sharing on social media.
Common sense and wisdom, not marriage, are two cures for social media mishaps and missteps.
Here is to the dearth of flawed arguments
Oh please go away already!
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