On December 31st 2018, I went to bed at 11:22pm. It is safe to say that when the clock struck midnight on the east coast and announced 2019, I was sound asleep.
I was ready for 2018 to be over in November. It was an incredibly amazing and affirming year, but the year had a lot of highs and some deep lows. The last two months were the hardest, so I gave myself permission to feel all the feels and lay low over the holidays with one caveat: once January 7th, 2019 hits and my out of office email notification expires, I will come back alive.
And that was exactly what I did. I took two weeks (the last week of 2018 and first of 2019) off to indulge my feelings. Thankfully, in 2015, I started the tradition of taking the weeks of Christmas and New Years off, and this time, I did more sleeping, musing and resting than celebrating, and I was okay with it.
I have been back at my tiny desk for a few weeks now, and also back to feeling like myself again. Hence, I’m just starting to truly acknowledging the new year.
Most new years, I have elaborate dreams and hopes, but for 2019, my hopes are simple…to surrender and to create stability in my life. Those are simply my goals, at least, for now.
One of the lessons, I learned in 2018 was I am not in control of my life as much as God is. I can do amazing and incredible things, but next to God, I can only do so much. If God is adamant about a no, it is a no. I can propose, plan and move all I want, but if I am truly surrendered to Christ, he will dispose faster than I can propose, plan or move. I want to surrender to that truth in 2019, and experience what it means to let God shatter my plans for his. Writing that actually scares me and gives me anxiety, but I am also tired of fighting him. Phew!
I am also craving stability in all areas of my life. As an entrepreneur, that can be hard. I don’t want stagnancy, but I believe a stable foundation allows for growth. expansion and evolution. I hope to both create and manifest some stability in my life in 2019.
Lastly, and as usual, I hope to read even more books this year. :)
Welcome to 2019 and Happy New Year, my friends.