It’s beginning to look like Christmas, and I love it!
Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday. Though I love Thanksgiving food, I love the ambiance and colors at Christmas more. I have one goal this holiday season – REST. As an entrepreneur and freelancer, I tend to work through the holidays. However, lately, I have been sensing a prompt deep within me to cultivate rest in my life and take time to smell the roses.
Thus, this is my last post of the year; I’ll be back after the New Year. It also makes sense to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and to share 10 things I plan to leave in 2017. These are things I have no desire to take into 2018.
- I CAN’T: If you’ve been following along with me since my blog launched in March, you are probably aware that I often mention my struggle with scarcity mentality, however, my struggle with the words “I CAN'T” is slightly different. This is more about the work I can produce based on the skills I have. It is the mentality that I don’t have the skills to do the work and it leads me to often say, "I can’t," but over and over and over again, I have proven myself wrong in regards to that. I can do a lot with the sklls I have, and I have done a lot with the skills I have. Of course, there is always something new to learn and the simple answer is to learn it.
- WORKING FOR FREE: I rarely do this, but I still struggle when a great opportunity that does not or can't compensate me knocks on my door. Of course, I have worked for free in the past and still do on and off, but I have no desire to live like a starving artist. I get great pleasure and reward when people read, comment on, share and compliment my work. It is a huge ego boost, but there is equally great pleasure and reward, plus dignity, pride, and integrity in being able to pay my bills and eat. The latter is also an ego boost. If there has to be an exception, it has got to be worthwhile, on my terms, and/or for a cause I can't shake off my heart. When asked to do work as a creative freelancer, I consider purpose, prestige, passion, and payment, and I require at least three.
- HIDING: Most people may not believe this about me, but I hold back. If I was to unleash my shine, ya'll will go blind. LOL. So modest! But honestly, I'm refusing to let shame ruin 2018! That is the craziness of shame; it requires you to hide yourself because of the issues in your life and/or your past. Honestly, for years I have walked the line of fully showing up and hiding. Of course, wisdom and appropriateness are important, but I refuse to hide myself. I am showing up, and my prayer lately is “I’m showing up God, you hid me.”
- BEING INDECISIVE: I’m not sure this is the accurate word to describe what I’m getting at, but it's pretty close, I think. I am a creative who is also pretty administrative and managerial savvy. I call myself a logical creative! For the longest time, I struggled and still struggle with balancing these skills. I want to use both, but I tend to use one seprate of the other. Lately, and as I search for a mix-match of work projects for 2018, I go back and forth on what I’m looking for. It is frustrating ya'll! "Do I look primarily in editorial or should I focus more on events, project, and operations?" It is such a drain on my soul, and I really have no idea how to leave this tossing and turning, up and down, and aha and boo ha moments in 2017. I want to use both skills, and it may boil down to pursuing roles or projects that encompass both – maybe a managing editor or a producer. I just need to leave the push and pull between both skills in 2017. HOW? I haven't figured out yet.
- TOIL + UNREST: One afternoon about two weeks ago as I walked down Mass Ave NW in D.C., I had a much-needed one on one with myself. I had to, because I had my million-dollar smile on, but a familiar heavy feeling in my heart. A feeling I had lugged around for years even though I hadn't named it or addressed it ever. It was unwanted and unpleasant, and that afternoon felt like the right time to call it out. "I'm not lugging this feeling, whatever this is, with me into 2018," I told myself. The atmosphere had barely absorbed that sentence when a scripture verse from a bible chapter I have been reciting every morning all year dropped on my heart. "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He refreshes my soul." And just like that, I knew the feeling was of unrest, toil, and hustle. So I decided there and then, that I want rest. I desire green pastures, still waters and a refreshed soul. I want to catch my breath in 2018. Amidst the work that life requires of us all, I want to find time to smell the roses, listen to the songs of birds, experience the gentle rush of stream waters, dance in the rain and sit still to enjoy a beautiful sunset while sipping a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
- NOT ASKING FOR WHAT I WANT + NEED: I opened my mouth a lot more in 2017, and I intend to do that more in 2018 too. I'll ask for the raise, I'll asked to be paid, and I'll ask for the two week extension.
- NEGLECTING MY BUSINESS FINANCE: After doing so well, almost 100% perfection in 2016 when it comes to my business accounting, this year was not pretty. I partly blame it on transitioning out of JostWrite, but I'm choosing to take full responsibilty and put the blame on me. I didn’t keep many receipts, I made lots of business expense payments from my personal account and forgot to transfer between both acounts, and estimated taxes are past due. "Who handled my finances this year, it certainly wasn’t the quintessential AdeOla.” The negligence also crept into my personal finances, and I need to get it all together. In October, I returned to the processes and systems my accountant proposed and the same ones I used in 2016. I may lose money this tax season, but this would not be my life in subsequent years. I REFUSE! I'm dropping that mess in 2017.
- NOT MAKING BOSS MOVES: I have lots of ideas, but I’ll never find out if they are good and boss if I don’t make a move.
- SCARCITY MENTALITY: This is one I have been letting go all year, and still shedding. I hope it never pops up in 2018.
- FEAR: I’m choosing to "Fear not" in 2018, well the Bible tells me so.
That’s it folks. Wish me luck as I traverse new terrains and frontier in 2018 with a lighter load on my back.
BONUS ITEM: I'm leaving behind ALL DATING APPS! I will live up to it. lol
What are you leaving in 2017?